In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
