So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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