Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
