She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Two words: nipple clamps
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