I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
