OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
