I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
