i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
