We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
