That's intense
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
