sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
