My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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