I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
