so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
