I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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