Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
