I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
