stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
