VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
