From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
