Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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