you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
