I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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