shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize