i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize