Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
