i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
