Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Randomize
