His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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