I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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