i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
