Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
