We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
