"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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