just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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