I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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