told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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