He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
