Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
