I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the day after is always just damage control
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
