Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
