Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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