best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
