She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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