Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have feelings that need drinking.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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