Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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