Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we're chasing vodka with high fives
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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