whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
