reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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