he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
