Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
