you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
