It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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