She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
