Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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