Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
