apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
