thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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