Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
