So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
