I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
