whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
