I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
don't judge my taste in strippers
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
